Funny Lines from Applicants

When I was still a newbie recruiter, my boss asked me to collate responses from applicants, not to be laughed at, but to be used as a sample for a training material – something that belongs to: WHAT NOT TO SAY and HOW NOT TO SAY IT during an interview.

Btw, the reactions/comments insterted are not mine.

Here is what I collected:
1. I am a flexible and I am perseverance person (when asked to describe her personality)

2. I want to learn more English words. (when asked why he wanted to work in a call center). [Damn! Read the dictionary!]

3. Do you have any extra ordinary positions that I can take for granted (Roughly Translated: Meron po ba kayong ibang position na pwede ko’ng apply-an?)

4. “Ten” (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)

5. “Kelan Po?” (When asked to count from 1 to 40 to measure her articulation)

6. “I would choose IRATE CALLERS, Sir.” (Answer to the question: If you will change the COLOR of the world, what would it be and why?)

7. “I want to entertain and satisfy customers” (hmmm….interesting concept…so…what are you wearing right now?)

8. “I want to expose myself to the customers.” (Answer to why he wants to work in a call center”) – Flasher ITO!

9. “Is there an opening for a call center?” (Oh so you want to become a call center now huh?)

10. “Hi. Good afternoon, my name is _____, and I’M a call center from the Philippines.” (solohin ba)

11. Chocolates, boys with tongue pierce.” (An applicants answer to the question: What are your weaknesses?”

12. “I think Grade 3 and 4 students are very childish!” (Answer to the question: What do you think is the most difficult part of teaching Grade 3 and 4 students?)

13. “Haller???!!!??? (knocks on the table) THE SALARY!” (Answer to Why do you want to work in a call center?)

14. “I’m a married person, I have 2 children, the same boy”

15. “It’s a colorful world.” (Describe the shirt you’re wearing.)

16. “It’s a boomed industry.” (So all agents are now dead, I guess)

17. “I like to explore other people” (ay sus…maniac ka ano?)

18. “I want to explore myself more.” (Answer to why do you want to work in a call center. bagay sila ni #17…)

19. “Hu u? How did you get my #? Text me back, huri. Send me load.” (Text from an applicant who failed to accept my call. The audacity of an applicant can sometimes appall you.)

20. “I was scheduled for an exam this morning….I wasn’t able to make it…because I WAS TONSILITIS.”

21. “Hi Maam, do you have an opening.” (Lokong to ah!)

22. “I want to adventure into the graveyard…” (Langya, mahiilig ka sa patay!)

23. “I would like to be a part of the graveyard…” (isa ka pa…thriller… thriller night)

24. “Gd pm sir, im realy Sri Wen u call me I cnt hears clearly coz d a raindrop of d rain is vry noisy. Rgrdng of *** u want 2 knw y u call me?” (A text message from an applicant)

25. “Do you accept walking applicants?” (No, we prefer flying ones)

26. Interviewer: So you’re an undergrad. What year are you in right now? Applicant: Oh I’m just here in the house. Interviewer: No, I asked you what year you’re in. Applicant: Year? I’m 25 years old! ( Nagkakaintindihan tayo pare….)

27. Applicant: Agency ba to? Interviewer: No sir, head hunting firm. Applicant (turning to friend, laughing): Egg-hunting daw pare! (He later apologized thinking that it was a prank call from a friend!)

28. “In the middle of my study at Adamson, my father fortunately passed away.” (FORTUNATELY? ??!!!)

29. “Hello, I just want to inquire about the application resume that I planted in the computer…” (Planted?)

30. “May inaantay ako na trabaho kaya gusto ko lang na may mapag LILIBINGAN.” (Answer to the question “Why do you prefer a part-time job?” Tagalog na yun ha! Mahilig talaga kayo sa patay!)